Calligraphy, Its dangerous!
by stylemylifebunny
Summary: Craig MotherFucking Tucker, is a sexy beast. WATCH AS HE CHOSES HIS..mate ;D xxx who will he end up with? What will happen if he and his friends get sucked into Stans gang agin XP xxxx YAY! rating is for launguge and sexual situations 3rd chap onwards!
1. BBFFE

_**Chapter one- Undercover.**_

_POV. Craig Tucker _

Craig Tucker, was a strange adolescent. Many had pondered how he came to be the cold, emotionless dick that he was, but by simply looking at his unstable parental background and his fucked up little town where he originated was answer enough- for most anyhow.

Not only did he carry an hard ice cold air, that complimented his harsh flawed personality deflects (-and trust me there where many). He had a short laboured temper that threatened to rupture at any moment in a flurry of fists and raised curses, which went hand in hand with his tendency to lurk in dark out of the way corners. Although he rarely went looking for trouble, but he usually got it.

When it came to patience he had very little of the stuff, choosing to block out the unimportant information that he was being supplied- how ever poorly it was being given, For example such things that held no purpose in life, like history.

Which wasn't helping much, seeing as he had a double of the stuff, a whole double period listening to the rat faced ho, with a high scratchy voice ramble on about- well he was listening just his brain refused to retain any of the pointless information that the hag spouted out. But his ears pricked up at the words 'video'.

'At least he wouldn't have to hear, the teachers irritating voice penetrate and vitiate his traumatised ear drums, for the whole lesson' He though bitterly.

His unapproachable hard steady gaze, swept over the classroom, taking in the expressions of his fellow piers. At the prospect of an 'educational' video. Many where already slouched over their desks, desperately clutching at consciousness.

His guarded silted jades meet with the small-towns designated man hoe, Kenny McCormick's bright, blue, sharp ones, the teen had recently started to leave his orange hooded parka, unzipped to his mid-drift, showing his malnourished, tanned and slightly toned frame, covered by a thin, usually white T-shirt. But his hood remained firmly up casting a shadow across him grinning face, and he had taken to wearing bandana like scarf around his neck, which meant that his voice was still muffed and incortablerent. Which pissed him of like nothing else, especially the way the teen was so quick to deny and laugh off the 'mystery' marks and bruises and the days he didn't turn up to school. Blaming his absences on extravagant one night stands, and the incredible fucking had wore him out so _badly_ he couldn't make it to school. Yeah, cause people brought _that, _but some of the dim wits actually did, like Clyde, which to be honest was to be expected, and Marsh. Others chose to ignore the lies, and try and talk to the fucker privately.

It never worked though.

Kenny offered him a friendly gesture, a wave, which he replied with his **own** _friendly gesture_. This only made the blond snigger and shake his head in amusement, before turning to torture Marsh with a sharpie, who was currently sleeping and drooling on the faces of our ancestors' that covered the front of the gigantic textbook. Both sat on the same row as him, to his right, he himself had the desk wedged up to the window pane.

The lights were flicked off, his eye snapped to the front of the room as the teacher sat down at her desk, she shh'ed the class, signalling the start of the crappy video. His eye slipped back to surveying the room, full of his fellow piers.

The 'popular' girls who usually chose to sit grouped to the left hand side of the classroom, more to the front then the back as those seats where filled with others, in the hopes of avoiding the teachers attention. Marsh and his retarded friends sat more in the middle of the room. Where as he and his…friends, ugh, sat to the right at the back. It didn't really matter where any of them sat unless there was a seating plan, everyone always mucked about with their own crowd and making occasional contact with other 'groups', if they had to.

So it had been a surprise when their health and social teacher had paired the teens earlier with unconventional partners. Clyde, the pussy had got McCormick. Token was paired with Bebe, were as Tweak and Stan where partners. Wendy + Cartman, Butters and Red. His own suburbanite was Kyle, fun. He could just tell he was **not** going to have a easy, free-ride with Brof. Great just great, well they couldn't work at his, it just wasn't an option and he was not going to the library, he was not going into that nerd zone, he had never set foot in there and never was going to. That was a promise he had made to himself, one that he intended to keep.

The Project was to go "Undercover" and identify the dynamics of a healthy relationship, weather it be between husband and wife, mother and daughter, or fox and hound. Anything really as long as it was a 'good' one.

Basically the assignment was make a case to what you personally think makes and keeps a healthy relationship going and in what case is the relationship healthy? Is it healthy but unconventional?

That's what the teacher was expecting and he knew it, he just didn't relish the thought of working with Brof for a whole two months, or was it one? It didn't make that much difference it still felt like a prison sentence to him.

Well it could be worse, he mussed, he could be stuck with Marsh, the fucking pussy, he really didn't have any brain cells and would most likely want to do it on a fucking high school romance, ugh. Thank god that he wasn't with Marsh.

Butters would have just pissed him off, with his girly obsession with hello kitty alone. Yet he couldn't imagine the blond any other way, he felt that was just some way the norm. He remembered when they had first entered high school and some jerks, had picked on butters for his pink school bag, he remembered it had been in the cafeteria queue. They never did pick on butters again, not after he had seen the colour red and had kicked their asses. True that had lead him to a afternoon of detention and his first of a very long listings of meetings with the schools counsellor, but it was worth it to preserve something like Butters gay, queer-happiness, in his then, ever changing world. He hated change he liked things plain an' simple. That's why he tried to be blunt, so hopefully people would get the message and react in corresponding ways. That and he also held a low tolerance for bullshit, and in general, people, mainly citizens of south park: that where whinny, bitchy, fucktards. Major douches.

"DUDE, MY BBFFE! DUDE!", God what now Clyde? "DUDE-" , Craig cut the idiot of with "What are BBFFE's Clyde?"

"wha? OH BBFF, are best bro's for fucking ever!" He chimed like it was something to be proud of, "Which WE are! Anyway dude, dude! Guess what!".

He groaned " what Clyde!" It's a shame he couldn't say that this type of behaviour was nothing of a surprise, epically from Clyde, what did he say, he was surrounded by major douches.

"Cly- " He started but the scrawny, bitchy teach took that moment to assign him with detention, just typical, 'psh' he didn't care anyway. Bitch. He shot daggers at a guilty looking Clyde, he looked like he was about to cry, he mouthed him an apology. He slid his gaze from Clyde's grovelling form, to the wall clock that was mandatory in every room. Thank God the lesson was almost over, the day was almost over. Then he would kick Clyde's fat ass.

The bell went. Clyde look fearfully over at him.

The class rose from their seats, talking loudly amongst them selves.

Tweak was babbling on about, gnomes or something, tugging at his thick, blond hair as he was lead from the classroom by token and Clyde. He shoved his un-used books into his bag, turning to follow them, but his path was blocked by Kyle and that pansy Marsh, Cartman lingered behind them talking to Wendy about their joint assignment, or so he assumed.

He was about to push past them when Kyle, smiled up at him, as he was the taller one. "So, er…erm, when...er where do you want to start the project?"

Craig just gave him his famous blank stare, when does he want to start the report? Never, was his answer. It was then McCormick bobbed his head up from were ever he had been hiding. His gaze bored into the trio. He spoke in his usual emotionless tone "when ever".

He then tried to push past them, only to have Kyle halt him with "kewl kewl…so erm, do you wanna go to the library after school toda-"

"no, not the library" he cut in.

"oh ok…how about you place or mine-" He had barely finished his sentence when Craig said "your's".

Clyde stuck his head round the class room door and hollered, "YO BBFFE! Ya coming or what?". Cartman spewed out his usual fag nonsense, before shoving him out of the way so he could exist with Wendy, ugh.

Kyle turned and said "um…yeah, you wanna come back to mine now?" He nodded his approval. "oh, erm ok…come on then, we have to catch the bus" Kyle smiled up at him. McCormick said something, but he couldn't understand it. Marsh laughed and clapped him on his back.

Weird, could they actually understand him?

He followed them out into the almost empty school corridor, at the end was Clyde waiting. He grinned when he saw them, "Hey!" He greeted the group. "Sup man!" came Marsh's reply, Kenny spoke some muffled words, with various hand gestures. "Hey Clyde, Kenny's your partner, yeah? Craig's coming over to start our project, do you guys want to come?"

Clyde looked surprised, baffled even at the offer but nodded anyway, Kenny looked at Kyle, with a questioning look as well. "what?" he asked the offended looking blond, "really what else where you gonna do? weren't you gonna come back to mine anyway?". That seemed to settle the issue, and the blond grabbed Clyde round his shoulders, in a joking manor, and leaned into his personal space, not that Clyde seemed to notice.

Craig shock his head, "Donavan", He reached forward and clutched at a hand full of the boys 'cow' jersey, pulling him forward, out of McCormick's hold. "You, and **your** _gayness_ got me detention" he spoke slowly so the words would penetrate though Clyde's thick skull. "Ple-p-please, Craig-It was a moment of w-weakness! I didn't mean too! It, it was an accident! A BRAIN FART!". A brain fart?

"A brain fart, really Clyde" he let the smaller boy go, gently, he might add, he pushed him away.

"I though we had to catch the bus?"

"Thanks Marsh I don't think we would survive without your great observational skills" form Craig's snack comment, Marsh flushed. Regrettably he had a point though and he made his way towards the bus stop with the other's frolicking around him. They missed the school bus, as they were to late leaving the building, they where in time to see the school bus leave though, it rounded the corner quite sharply, sliding slightly on the icy roads. Great know they had to walk to Kyle's house. Ugh. The gang took it in their stride, with their happy-go-lucky attitudes. He was the to second tallest in the group, Stan being the tallest, Kenny, Clyde then Kyle, ha. Not by a massive lot though.

(1972-word count).


	2. Blush Boi

_**Chapter two- Undercover: Of Mice And Men.**_

_POV. Craig Tucker _

There heights weren't that different, he noted as he surveyed the group. Head in the clouds, thoughts to himself he walked.

He himself, had personally passed his driving test and he knew that Clyde had, the freak had been very, _very_ emotional in the few weeks leading up, and Kyle had passed as-well, as he had seen the dweb driving around town in a car that obviously wasn't his dads or his moms, and he was to much of a…'square' to dive without a licence. He wasn't so sure about Marsh as he had seen him driving a car to and from school, but it was a mystery to him weather he had passed or was simply driving without a licence. McCormick hadn't taken it yet, and he couldn't afford a car.

Un fortunately they had all had to ditch their cars, even his own crappy car had to be ditched, as the school was having a stupid echo-awareness week or something, meaning that all students had to either walk or catch the bus, most had opted for the **free/prepaid** means of transport.

The brittle wind, swirled the thick fallen snow around their ankles, howling like a wolf might at the moon, in one of his beloved bad outdated horror move. Dark clouds had rolled across the autumn sky, blocking out the weak, yet harmful UV rays emitted from the sun as the world spun in it tediously slow orbit.

In short it was getting fucking cold and fast, and here he was fucking walking with Marsh and the do-layaly gang, he would be lucky if McCormick didn't steal his fucking cherished hat or try and shove his dick up his ass.

He spoke to soon, said blond reached up as if to swat way a fly with his thin fingers, and instead grabbed his blue chello. Dashed out of reach, ahead of the group waving it widely above his head, running backwards. Taunting him. Git. The group halted.

His now free, jet black mane was ruffled but the rough wind, god he hated being without his hat- this way he looked just liked Marsh! It was messed up, seriously people thought they were twins, Ugh the fucking horror, how could they not see the MAJOIR differences! He would kill himself if he was fucking Marsh's twin.

His lip twitched in announce at McCormick, he ran his hands through his tangled 'hat' hair. "McCormick, you better give me my fucking hat back, before I fucking **kill** you" venom seeped from his f-in eyes, but the fucking knob didn't seem to get the message, and bounced on his heels, giggling. He waved it over his head, pulling down his scarf so his, actually amazing voice could be heard-not that he thought it was amazing, it was just that he hadn't heard it since fifth grade. He was laughing like a mad man -"I AM THE MAD HATER! MWHHHAAAAA" he was insane. _**He**_ was insane, what was he doing hanging out with these people!

Clyde clapped him on the back leaning on him, he ran one of his hands through his hair, "wooh, dude your hair is **so** nice", chuckling.

'uh'- he resisted the urge to make a repulsed expression. Fucking hell Clyde, way to be gay. He shrugged him off, before anyone commented. He was not a fucking **fag**, he wasn't. He shock himself mentally, he was not doing this right know. He had more important things to do right now, like getting his fucking hat back, _before_ McCormick got it infested with lice or fleas, or worse.

"Give me. My. Fucking. **Hat**. You. Fucking. Little. Piece. Of. Fucking. Tr- ""whoo! Craigiwe-poooooooo! Don't Ya love me now moooooore? " the blond, scarf still away from his lips. "McCormick" he snapped, striding towards the dancing figure.

"what? Crrrraaaaiiigggiie waaiiggiee beeeear!" fucking hell.

"KEN, Give him his fucking hat back!"

"but KYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" the redhead shock his head, making his bright delicate curls bounce. "KEN, before he fucking _kills you_"

"OK! Okaiiiiii! Jesh!" the blond made his way towards them, hands raised in 'peace', only to stop in front of Marsh, he had never seen the blond move so fast as he grabbed Marsh's blue bobble hat and danced backwards, chucking.

"look! THEIR TWINS!" His excited laughter echoed in the empty street. He spun around, gesturing to the two ebony haired teens.

"KENNY! Dude, what the fuck! Come on dude, give me my hat back! Please!" pathetic Marsh, pathetic, not that he expected anything more. He turned his gaze from the twirling fool to the other hatless fiend.

"kiss! Then you can have them back!" his face was lit up like sunshine, as if he had just declared the answer to world peace was fish an chips. "wha-what!" Marsh's voice was raised a pitch higher, his eyes stretched wide, they immediately snapping back to McCormick's gleaming ones. "KISS HIM! Com'on one lil kissie! It will be TWINCEST! So fucking hot! Com'on!". 'Wait, hold on what. He wasn't- he didn't mean _him_? Did he? Fuck no!' marsh looked at him, with a pleading eyes.

"Fuck no! dream on you dam hood-rat! Give me my fucking hat back, before I break every worthless bone in your puny pathetic, aids infested body" the air seemed to thicken around them, everybody froze, eyes flickered from McCormick's now still form and Craig's intense furious gaze.

The stare down continued in till, the tension was sliced but Clyde's ninja tongue "Er, I-I, er had a pet rock once, its name was al…I have a joint, you guys want to take a hit?". McCormick walked forward, clutched Clyde's shoulder "know you'r talkin! My man!" he flung the hats at Marsh, slid his arm around Clyde's, pulled up his scarf and started walking again.

Craig snatched his hat of Marsh and tugged the material down hard over his head. He ended up bringing up the rear of the suddenly much more quieter group, feeling a slight pang in his gut, of what? Remorse? Sorrow?…guilt? He with sober eyes he watched Clyde jostle and joke about with McCormick. He suddenly found the pavement a better subject for his gaze, to linger on.

This new feeling he felt intensified, making him feel sick- when he heard Marsh speak in hushed tones to Kyle "what the fuck is his problem?" The 'him' they were referring to was **him**, he concluded when Marsh went on. "Dude I mean really, we only just managed to convince Ken to wear his parka _un-zipped_, you and I both know the reason he still wears it all the time, and the _newer_ reason for scarf…and he just goes and say's such, such **degrading** things, I mean where the hell does he get off, huh? He is such a dickhead!".

Kyle sighed and answered him in an equally aggregated tone "yeah I now, it pisses me off too, but he doesn't now about ken's,… yeh and regrettably he is an dick, I guess we will just have to deflect him…there is not much what we can do."

"Argg I noooow but ugh! Its just so frustrating, how can he-"

"Stan, calm down. I now, ok? I now."

"Yeah, guess your right ky…"

Was it him or did Kyle have some physic ability that allowed him to talk telepathically with Marsh, because there was something that he was defiantly missing from that conversation.

"…but maybe if **he** knew…he wouldn't be such an ass…about stuff…?"

"Have you lost you'r mind? Ken would flip his _**Shit **_if we even _mentioned…_ it to anyone! Especially someone like mother fucking Craig! _Craig_-who would most likely tell the whole school, the whole town ohm god the fucking adults will get involved! That is defiantly **not** a good idea! Right? Ken would murder us….you know he docent like …that kind of attention and having people know his shit, and he wont be able to stand the looks, much yet if someone tried to talk to him…dude you better not even hint" Kyle's warning made Marsh back up his own shit.

"Dude! I would never! I just think- forget it, it was a bad idea…ugh just like zip-lining" that seemed to mark an end to the conversation, as both erupted in laughter.

Know he was confused, baffled even so he wasn't to blame when he didn't notice everyone had stopped, he was to deep in thought; trying to analyse the hushed conversation between Marsh and Brofski. His head was still bent in concentration pointed at the ground.

It was _their_ fault, idiot's they could have said **something**, **anything.** They were turning to him, most likely **to** say something but it was to late, fools.

He was in full auto-pilot mode, when he walked into-no, **collided** with _Marsh_, balance was lost, limbs flailed. Both when down. His vision was blocked by dyed-brown material of a winter jacket. Marsh's jacket. Fuck, he had face planted onto Marsh, more importantly his chest. His legs tangled with fucking Marsh's, he pushed himself up with his hands and knee's, only to slip on the ice clad floor and slam back onto Marsh. Fuck. "Oohf!" he pushed the air out Marsh's lungs, and his own.

"what the fuck _Marsh_!"

"what? You ran into **me**!"

"like hell **I **did, you just-just stopped!"

Laughter from the still standing guys, whirled around them. Kyle was the first to gather enough breath from his hysterics to call out to them, as they both failed miserably to dismount the floor. "hey, if you two aren't too distracted, w-hhahaahahaha w-w-we are gonna go inside~ and leave you two aloooooneee~~~~". By then blood had travel to his face, making an apparent blush spread across his cheeks.

In an attempt to stand, he had ended up straddling Marsh's hips, with one of Marsh's hands holding onto his waist-steadying him. "hold on, one second! Calm down man, don't do that or you will-", "what Marsh, what? And, Get your hands off me you fucktard"

"I didn't- I mean, it was an accident, I was-only" Marsh stumbled over his words, un able to get them out fast enough, as he flung his hands down- up by his head in the snow.

"oh my god! Wha-hahahahahaha" Clyde's booming voice carried over the wind. "shut your face cly! God dam it!" Craig had finally managed to climb up, he glared daggers at the group still located on the porch of Kyle's house.

He looked down at Marsh's fallen figure, and rolled his eyes, slowly he offered him a hand up. He heard unmistakably Clyde gasp, along with Kyle and McCormick. Marsh just looked up at him dumb found, freak. "erm, this is the part where you take my hand…or not whatever" know it was marsh's turn to blush as he was pulled to his feet.

Without another word he brushed the snow of his arms and walked up the drive. Faintly he could hear Marsh's foot steps behind him, crunching on the brittle snow. This was going to be a long project, he could tell.


End file.
